Confusing Indian elections

I find these elections confusing. I completely support all the NGO's that are making great efforts to get everyone to vote, and striving to provide details of the candidates at a click of an sms request on your cell phone.

But what do the parties stand for ? The platform for everyone seems to be why the other party was not the right candidate. The electioneering seems to be completely negative. Putting down the opposing candidate. Why I should not vote for the other Candidate, not why I should vote for you ?

Why should I vote for you ?

Source - http://www.shekharkapur.com/blog/archives/2009/04/confusing_india.htm

Lalu's Railway Indicator.

Union Railway Minister and RJD chief Lalu Prasad Yadav gained popularity in India and the world for his populist measures as a Railway Minister. He turned the ailing Railways as the most profitable one. He was invited by the IIM to give lectures.

But the Railway staff does not seem to take a note of it & act in accordance to their Ministers vision & still doing silly mistakes.

The above Railway indicator was spotted by me on 23^rd April 28, 2009 by me on Dombivli station by around 2140 hrs. Can some railway authority please let me know in which school the indicator operator has learnt this type of watch reading?

"Sardars Are Not Stupid" Convention

80,000 sardars meet in the stadium, for a "Sardars Are Not Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the World that Sardars are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?"

A sardar gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up to the stage. The leader asks him, "What is 15 plus 15?"

After 15 or 20 seconds he says, "Eighteen!"

Obviously everyone is a little disappointed.

Then 80,000 sardars start cheering, "Give him another chance! Give him another chance!"

The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble of getting 80,000 Of you in one place and we have the worldwide press and global broadcast media here, uh, I guess we can give him another chance."

So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?"

After nearly 30 seconds he eventually Says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected Sigh - everyone is disheartened, the sardar starts crying and the 80,000 sardars begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more ha than Damage, Eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance what is 2 plus 2?"

The surd closes his eyes, and after a whole minute

Eventually says, "Four?"

Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 surdies jump To their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream...

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE.....!

"GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE......!

Source - Some email in my inbox.

How the fight started

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
So, I took her to a gas station..

And then the fight started...

My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years
ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Naaah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...

A woman is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started....

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed..

But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first:
the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass,
busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.
I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.
I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'
And then the fight started...


Source - Some email in my inbox.

Shoe Throwing.......

While shoe throwing was an isolated incident in Iraq, it appears to have become somewhat of a trend in India where people have embraced this novel method of registering their protest against politicians. With the general elections underway the number of shoe throwing incidents appears to be on the increase.
The latest victim being, the once bollywood superstar Jeetendra yesterday in Nandurbar at some political party road show.

G R Gopinath, contesting Elections

G R Gopinath, founder of Indian low-cost carrier Deccan, is contesting in India's parliamentary elections. Better known as Capt Gopi, sold his stake to Vijay Mallya's Kingfisher Airlines in 2007 and Deccan was renamed Kingfisher Red last year. He now plans to start up a cargo airline, Deccan Cargo, in May.

Contesting as an independent in the Bangalore South Constituency, he says in his official campaign website that he has thrown his hat into the ring in frustration at "the state of affairs in the political arena". He plans to start a "citizen's committee for civic issues, fight corruption and promise good governance". This is his second foray into the political arena after unsuccessfully contesting for a state assembly seat in 1994.

The Great Indian Elections

It's election time in India and the season to see our politicians putting up various activities with full steam. Every day, we see news report of various political parties and leaders indulging in some or other crooked stunt.

It is really a shame that even after more than 60 years; our leaders can get away with their corruption, lies and dramas. Such is their confidence in their ability to fool the voters, that even in age of internet and 24x7 live media coverage, they are unashamed enough to display their crooked ways in full public view.

If you all miss to see them this time, don’t worry they have made full arrangements that they will be back after 5 years.

Jagore!!!

Indian Janta Jagore!!!

Wish list - before I die.

Yesterday saw a program on National Geographic named – 1000 things to do before you die. The program made me start thinking of all the things I need to do before I die. Here is my wish list I thought -

1. Swim with a dolphin.

2. Skydive.

3. Plant a tree.

4. Be someone's mentor.

5. Experience weightlessness.

6. Learn to juggle with three balls.

7. Grow a garden.

8. Spend three months getting my body into optimum shape.

9. Drive a convertible in top gear and music blaring.

10. Scuba dive off Australia's Great Barrier Reef.

11. Create my own web site.

12. Teach someone illiterate to read.

13. Learn the ballroom dance properly.

14. Open a Swiss bank account.

15. Write a letter to the editor.

16. Do 100 push ups in a row.

17. Lose 20 kgs.

18. Do Bungee jumping.

19. Sleep for 24 hours straight.

20. Get a Tattoo done.

21. Drive a Transport Truck.

22. Earn my master's degree.

23. Fly the Concorde.

24. Breed Discuss fish.

25. Make sure my family has no financial strain

Customer charges for use of ATMs for cash withdrawal and balance enquiry

RBI/2007-2008/260
DPSS No.1405 / 02.10.02 / 2007-2008

March 10, 2008

The Chairman / Chief Executive Officer
(All Scheduled commercial banks including RRBs)

Dear Sir

Customer charges for use of ATMs for cash withdrawal and balance enquiry

1. Automated Teller Machines (ATMs) have gained prominence as a delivery channel for banking transactions in India. Banks have been deploying ATMs to increase their reach. While ATMs facilitate a variety of banking transactions for customers, their main utility has been for cash withdrawal and balance enquiry. As at the end of December 2007, the number of ATMs deployed in India was 32,342. Commensurate with the branch network, larger banks have deployed more ATMs. Most banks prefer to deploy ATMs at locations where they have a large customer base or expect considerable use. To increase the usage of ATMs as a delivery channel, banks have also entered into bilateral or multilateral arrangements with other banks to have inter-bank ATM networks.

2. It is evident that the charges levied on the customers vary from bank to bank and also vary according to the ATM network that is used for the transaction. Consequently, a customer is not aware, before hand, of the charges that will be levied for a particular ATM transaction, while using an ATM of another bank. This generally discourages the customer from using the ATMs of other banks. It is, therefore, essential to ensure greater transparency.

3. International experience indicates that in countries such as UK, Germany and France, bank customers have access to all ATMs in the country, free of charge except when cash is withdrawn from white label ATMs or from ATMs managed by non-bank entities. There is also a move, internationally, to regulate the fee structure by the regulator from the public policy angle. The ideal situation is that a customer should be able to access any ATM installed in the country free of charge through an equitable cooperative initiative by banks.

4. In view of this, RBI had placed on its website an Approach paper and sought public comments. The comments received have been analysed. Based on the feed back a framework of service charges would be implemented by all banks as under:

Sr.No.	Service	Charges
(i)	For use of own ATMs for any purpose	Free (with immediate effect)
(2)	For use of other bank ATMs for balance enquiries	Free (with immediate effect)
(3)	For use of other bank ATMs for cash withdrawals	No bank shall increase the charges prevailing as on December 23, 2007 (i.e. the date of release of Approach Paper on RBI website) Banks which are charging more than Rs..20 per transaction shall reduce the charges to a maximum of Rs.20 per transaction by March 31, 2008 Free - with effect from April 1, 2009.

5. For the services at (1) and (2) above, the customer will not be levied any charge under any other head and the service will be totally free.

6. For the service number (3) the charge of Rs.20/- indicated will be all inclusive and no other charges will be levied to the customers under any other head irrespective of the amount of withdrawal.

7. The service charges for the following types of cash withdrawal transactions may be determined by the banks themselves:

(a) cash withdrawal with the use of credit cards
(b) cash withdrawal in an ATM located abroad.

8. Please acknowledge the receipt of the circular.. A copy of the circular issued to your branches on this subject may please be submitted to us in due course..

Yours faithfully

(Arun Pasricha)
General Manager